Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Things are FINALLY starting to slow down

Well no doubt I've had a busy few months since probably the end of May. I've had my parents in town for a visit - babies being born - Friends losing a loved one - Wedding showers and just catching up with good friends. I've been B~U~S~Y~!

Since my last rant I'm happy to report that I've lost -3.5lbs which is a good start. I seem to have my eating under control somewhat and now going to keep adding exercise back in. Before I know it I'll be on a roll and hard to stop me! I still want to try to lose 16.5lbs before the end of August. I don't know if I'll be able to do it but I'm sure going to try!

Went to the Doc to find out why I've been so tired lately. All blood tests came back normal except for the white count again which was slightly elevated - which shows I'm fighting something off yet I feel completely normal. She suggests that perhaps I'm depressed or have some anxiety - yet when I question myself I don't really think I have any of those. Her diagnosis is to keep eating well - "get my ass in gear" and exercise and as far as the white count goes - we'll just do follow up testing later if I still feel this "tired" feeling. She did say one good thing was my weight was pretty constant - and usually depression has you go one way or the other. I hate my constant weight - though I want it to go down not up!

I'm reading this really good book given to me by my friend Deb. It's called Dancing Naked at the Edge of Dawn - by Kris Radish. I really love this book - I'm only about 80 pages in and it's really talking to me. It’s about how sometimes it takes the shock of a lifetime to get you to really start living. One part of it that really sticks out to me is this:

"It is perhaps remarkable to remember the moment when you wake up. It is perhaps remarkable to be able to step outside of your mind and body and see your flaws and missteps and yearnings. It is remarkable to be able to put your finger on your own pulse and to say that you suddenly understand that unhappiness is a choice and that everyone, even you, can change directions, or better yet, find direction at any moment in your life."

This great book follows Meg and her amazing friends in her search after something major happens in her life. If anyone is looking for a book to read, I'd say give this one a shot!

So yeah - my life seems to be slowing down a little for me to take a deep breath and sit back and relax a little. Plans for Karen's Bachelorette party are coming along GREAT.... I've been working on some knitting and some cross stitching and just keeping busy with my spare time at home. Let's not forget also that I recently purchased an iPhone. I'm really loving it and so far my experience with AT&T "service" hasn't been that bad - their customer service however...they need to learn a thing or two!

My plan for the coming weeks - relax and exercise and see what a difference it can make. I'll try to remember to blog on this more often - it really helps and I'm delighted that I actually have people that comment!

Moving on and upward!

Friday, July 2, 2010

Enough with the Bullshit!

I've had it - I keep making excuses on why I haven't been exercising - Because my family is here... or because I have a party... or whatever.... IT DOESN'T MATTER! I don't know why I can't get that through my head and understand, no matter what's going on in my life I can be in control of my choices. I'm going to be honest. Trying to lose weight is damn hard. I should know, I've been trying to get to my goal weight since 2000. I've come a long way..once was 312lbs and have now lost over 100lbs of that.....but I'm not finished, and there is no reason why I can't finish. I need to figure out whatever is keeping me here hovering around the same 10lbs for the last couple years.... but honestly ...I just need to DO THIS! Get my butt in gear, follow the program and exercise. It's not hard. I now have no more distractions in my life...it's just me and I need to put myself first for once!

No more being LAZY Lauren...just get out there and do it. I have many goals for this summer - I want to look so amazingly beautiful and thin in Karen and Jared's wedding....and I want to be running a fit 5k before my training starts for the Disney 1/2 marathon. Both of these goals have something in common.... LOSING WEIGHT! Yes...I'm sure I will still struggle - but I know if I can lose over 100lbs I can lose this last 50. So, I'm starting today - and I'm going to continue to use the blog to post/rant/cry over successes or failures - but either way I'm going to keep pushing. My mini goal is to lose 20lbs in 2 months - that's 10 per month (I'll take more if I can get it) I'm going to commit to doing some sort of exercise EVERY DAY - as well as stay on plan.

This whole thing starts with me - I know in my heart that I can do it, and I hope along the way I can figure out whatever it is that's been holding me back around this same 10lbs - maybe I'm scared? Scared of failing? I don’t know - I've inspired so many people to do this and lose weight...and people to start a running program... now it's time to inspire myself... Get out there Lauren and give it your all...and Shine for everyone to see.

It's your life...whatcha gonna do....the world is watching you.....

Here's to seeing you at the finish line